The Beginning of the End...

I've been tooling around with the idea of abadoning this blog for a while now. I don't post nearly enough, and I feel like I'm letting everyone's RSS aggregator down. Kindly enough, Mr. Spivey has offered me an author position on his little piece of the web, so I think I'll just be moving my sparse writing over there.

In an effort to go out with a bang instead of a whimper, I'm going to make a pledge right now: to post every day for the rest of 2009. This is actually going to be a bit difficult over the Xmas holiday, being out of town and without my computer, but an artist must suffer for his art, right?

Off we go...

Anybody there?!?

Professional Engineering Exams, Elections, Trips to DC... Lots has happened since my last post. I would be a bit late in commenting on any of that stuff, so I'll just ignore it for now. I promise to write more tomorrow, but here's a couple things to tide you over:

- Check this website out. I'm not homophobic by any means, but I must say it disturbs me slightly that the hot M4M "missed connections" location in my state is the chain of gyms where I shower almost every morning that I bike to work. Also: If you are a lesbian in WY, MS, TN, WV or the Dakotas, you are apparently either satistfied with your situation, or extremely dissapointed.

- I just read the full account of Natalie Dee's pregnacy and labor, and I am horrified. I realize that her experience was not typical by any means. Still, I don't think I'm prepared to EVER subject my wife to that. There are plenty of kids out there waiting to be adopted.

New meme: Drew meme

From the North American version of "I've Been Everywhere", where have you been?

Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma, Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo, Tocopilla, Barranquilla and Padilla.

Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana, Monterey, Ferriday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa, Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa, Tennessee, Hennessey, Chicopee, Spirit Lake, Grand Lake, Devils Lake and Crater Lake.

Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Ombabika, Schefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Costa Rica, Richfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport, Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond Du Lac, Davenport, Idaho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamantina, Pasadena and Catalina.

Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelbourg, Colorado, Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, El Dorado, Larimore, Atmore, Haverstraw, Chatanika, Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska, Opelika, Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City, Sioux City, Cedar City and Dodge City.

Technically I've been to 'a' Dodge City, just not 'the' Dodge City. The one I've been to was a bar just down the street from a place I used to live. I don't think that counts.

My grandma is more tech savvy than yours...

She's on Facebook, I kid you not.



My wife's grandmother barely understands cellular phones, and she's about 20 years younger than mine. Granted, she's also Polish. Submarine screen doors and all...

So, Facebook: No longer hip, but still cool nonetheless.

Weird moments from the weekend...

Strange: Running into the owner of our favorite neighborhood bar at a house party.

Stranger: Being invited to said party by two guys we met that used to live in the house in which we now live.

Strangest: Learning that the great-aunt of one of those guys died in the bedroom we now sleep in. (Quietly in her sleep we are told, not bludgeoned to death. Thank god.)

Weekend Roundup...

Well, I didn't get much accomplished this weekend, on account of Olympic Fever. There's only so many qualifiers / prelims / quarterfinals of any one Track event that I can watch before I'm sick of it, though. Why are they showing so much running anyway? Whatever happened to the Field? Let's see some of the interesting stuff already: Hammer Throw, Pole Vault, Discus, etc.

Also in Olympic News:
- Sacramone got robbed.
- If you are an older female olympian, and mother, this is your year!
- The super-hot Polish Women's Volleyball team's dreams were cut short by the super-beastly USA team.
- The official Chinese Olympic website is horrible... Less censoring, more troubleshooting please.
- Phelps is loaded! The $25,000 he gets for each medal must seem like chump change next to his endorsement paychecks.

In political news, McCain's threshold to define rich is 20 times higher than that of Obama. When asked this past week to define rich in terms of annual income, Obama's response was $250,000, while McCain's answer was $5,000,000. That's quite a difference! Don't worry Phelpsie, you're rich in either one's eyes!

Also, the NYT buried an article about McCain's "response" to 9/11. Apparently he flew off the handle, jumping on the "Invade Iraq" bandwagon before it even got out the garage. Quick to link Saddam Hussein to both Al Quaida and the anthrax "attacks", he sang praises for Rumsfeld & Co. Wrong on all counts, old man! Anyone who thinks McCain has got the chops for military "strateegery' or foreign policy needs to read this.

Of course, hidden behind all the Olympic and election hoopla is the highly provacative Russian invasion of Georgia. While the news seems to be that Georgia pushed for a fight despite NATO warnings to back off, the Russian response was mostly likely (and I hate to repeat a Bushism) "highly disproportionate". If this news doesn't concern you, know that quite a few Ukrainians think that they're next, and many Poles (my wife included) fear that Russian military commanders may make good on their belligerent promises.

I'll willing to guess there's still quite a few old assholes in Washington that welcome the idea of a return to the Cold War. Such wishful thinking will prove foolish when they realize that the US doesn't really look like the good guys to a lot of the world anymore.

I'll leave you with a gem of a quote from an article in the The Times Online:

"In the old days under Soviet rule we didn't believe a word of our own propaganda but we thought that information was free in the West and we longed for it," said Katya, a middle-aged Muscovite. "But we have learnt since that the West has its own propaganda and in some ways it is more powerful because people believe it."

Congratulations media and leadership of America! You have succeeded in fucking up anything good that the U.S. accomplished in the past 60 years. Hope you're rich because of it! And I mean like quadruple McCain rich!

Now you understand the genius of the terrorist fist-jab...

Cindy: sacrificing her health for the campaign. What a hero!

If you liked "Ong-Bak"

You should really go pick up "Born to Fight". Although Tony Jaa is not in this movie, it is directed/produced by the same team. It also features some of Thailand's greatest atheletes showing what their made of and doing their own stunts. There's even an "Asian champion of rugby"!

Don't take my word for it. Watch the preview:



Speaking of previews, go see "Dark Knight". Ike knows what I'm talking about.

For the curious...

In an effort to boost the content of my blog, I offer you my thoughts:

- I'm going to take a stab at this, and guess that this is not going to result in achieving real, useful fusion that will ensure the energy needs of the future. If anything it's safe to assume that anything that is possible in a Keeanu Reeves movie is IMPOSSIBLE in real life. The Matrix will never happen, time travel will never happen and I'm pretty sure a bus will never wheelie an overpass.

- "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." I just can't believe this is true. It's like Karl Rove dared him to say it, and he waited until the very last minute of the meeting, slipped it in and went home snickering... "C'mon man, I said it, you owe me 20 bucks!" Other highlights of King Bush's last trip to the G8 include: Greeting every world leader with "Yo!" and showing off his Italian language skills to president Silvio Berlusconi (Amigo! Amigo!).

- Speaking of our fearless leader... Remember the hullabaloo that was raised over Obama's willingness to negotiate with Iran? Looks like the administration has decided to quit pouting like a 5-year old and step to the table for some talks. The preconditions look... weak. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess.

- This week's Economist has an interesting look into the future of the Mediterranean economy, specifically how the European Union should take advantage of the growth happening there right now. That seems fine with me, but I think they should keep their hands off the Baltic region for the moment. I've got a trip planned there for next summer, and I don't want them to mess it up. EU membership already ruined Prague for me... 10 cent beers, my ass!

Crap!

I think my work just blocked gchat...

No Teacher Left Teaching...

I've been busy these last few weeks, not only at work, but personally as well. Last Monday was my wife's 25th birthday, and this past Monday was our 1st wedding anniversary. Everything went wonderfully on both occasions, and overall I'd have to say the state of the union is strong.

One thing, however, has tried to ruin our summer: A certain school district in Arizona where my wife is employed.

Due to some paper-shuffling bullshit, my wife was in danger of losing her job last week. As a matter of fact, they chose to inform her of this on her birthday. So, last week was a scramble to assemble papers, certifications and correspondance to send to the district, which turned out to be fruitless, as everyone was off for the ENTIRE WEEK before the 4th of July.

Finally, on Monday (our anniversary) when she got a hold of her "teacher development counselor" (fancy name for HR director), he was rude, terse and unempathetic. Naturally she was upset, and I was livid. Here's an excerpt from the e-mail I helped her write to the district, sent to said "counselor" and copied to her principle, vice principle and the district superintendant:

Dr. X,
I would like to take the chance, through e-mail, to explain to you my situation regarding my provisional certification to teach in Arizona. Allow me to start at the beginning:

I was hired, by you, at a job fair in Seattle, Washington in the summer of 2007. I spoke to a few districts located in the Phoenix-area at the time, but your attitude and your positive description of the X School District won me over. I was led to believe that X School District was an organized, motivated, caring institution that would help me begin my career in teaching.

[8 paragraphs of explanation and grievances]

I was excited about beginning my second year of teaching, and I was under the impression that X School District was very interested in keeping me around for years to come. Now, I am doubting XSDs commitment to their employees, and I also am doubting that the beauracratic and unappreciative culture of the entire education system is really for me. I moved out here to teach, and I feel like I have been cut down at the knees every step of the way. I did not spend 4 years and incur tens of thousands of dollars in student loans in college to be yanked around by a second-rate school district that is so rife with patronage, infighting and apathy that the state is forced to consider a full-on takeover.

I do not know whether at this point you are interested in helping me out or not. I would be happy to continue teaching next year, but if you do not thing X School District is fit for me, I will seek employment elsewhere in a field where employees are treated with trust, respect and appreciation.

Kind Regards,
Norf's Wife

Guess who got her job back ASAP?

Guess who's still going to several interviews for alternative employment in the meantime?

I mourn the downfall of the American educational system...

Phew!

Movin', wife's birthdayin', brother-in-law entertainin', doin' my part to get New Orleans hooked up with some reliable levees... It's been a busy past couple months for me.

I did go to the Sasquatch festival in May, which was awesome. Highlights include: Tegan & Sara, Okkervil River & the Presidents of the United States of America (still rocking). A good time was had by all!

I also saw the Grand Canyon for the first time since I was 9. I was much more impressed by it this time.

As I mentioned in the first bit, the wifey and I did just complete a move. We have left the confines of our cozy luxury apartment by the Biltmore for an older house in a "historic" (the term is relative here) neighborhood, closer to central Phoenix. It is my anticipation that the light rail will bring more businesses and fun to this area, but we'll have to wait and see...

Randomly, I've been tossing a few thoughts around in my head, which I would like to share with you:

- Discovering new podcasts is awesome... Especially when said podcasts are not "current events" oriented and therefore the archives are not outdated. I listened to 7 episodes of Radiolab in a row yesterday while chugging away at my desk.

- What the hell Africa? How could so many countries sit around and do nothing while Mugabe so brazenly steals yet another election in Zimbabwe. Of course, we didn't do anything either...

- I'm looking forward to my 5-day long weekend. The wifey and I will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary this weekend, with a trip to Santa Fe, NM. Finally, a chance to relax and enjoy eachother for days on end... 'bout time!

Where have I been?!?

Instead of writing a lengthy post explaining my absence, let me recount it quickly, and get it over with:

The wife and I went to Ottawa to visit my dad. Fun fact: Ottawa is the capital of Canada. You'd be surprised how many people don't know that. They should have followed Mexico's lead and just named it "Canada City"

We also went to San Diego. Congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Akst. Congrats also to Miles & Melissa and James & Anna. This year was looking to be a slow one for weddings. Thanks for cramming a couple more in!

The D-back home opener (pics soon) was fun. Hot dogs, beer and cotton candy are always a good mix.

I was also sick and bedridden for a couple days. Sadly, I don't have pictures of that.

Okay, now back to the present.

NSFB (Not Safe For Brain)

If you are a LOST fan, and you have a little too much time on your hand, take a look at this. It's guaranteed to make your brain hurt. It may also leave you feeling like a huge, huge nerd.

Got any plans for Memorial Day weekend this year?

I know I do.

Phoenix Observation # 6: Winter ain't so bad.

I have a feeling my some of my posts have been downers lately, so I'm going to switch gears for a second. It's been a while since my last one, so let's get to it:

Phoenix Observation # 6: Winter ain't so bad.

I could've written this post a while ago, since the weather has been nice here for a while, but I really feel I had to let my thoughts ripen. After a blazing hot summer, I was beginning to doubt the move. Fall was alright, but I really missed the color changes and the crunchiness of leaves under my feet. I don't think a bunch of landscapers sawing off old palm fronds counts as "shedding leaves"... But I thought that was about as good as it was going to get.

Turns out I was wrong. Autumn just rolls by a little late around here. Suddenly in January leaves turned brown and started falling off the trees in my neighborhood. Then I started hearing the familiar sound of 500 HP gas-powered leaf blowers coralling twigs and leaves into small piles. Doesn't anyone own a rake anymore?

Well, Fall turned to Winter real fast, and it got a little cold. Nothing close to what I was used to in Virginia, but it was brisk enough that biking back from the bars became a little less enjoyable (rockin' the alliteration). I started having to wear a jacket on my 2-block walk to work. I started ordering hot instead of cold drinks at Starbucks. Oh, and it started raining semi-regularly.

After two years in the Northwest, I'm used to rain. Getting soaked on the walk home for lunch because I didn't bring a jacket that day is okay. At least there's a dryer at home. Given this ambivalence towards rainy weather, I get to focus on the benefits of a little moisture in the Valley of the Sun: For once, everything starts to turn green. The jagged yellow, brown and red mountains that are spread throughout the city start to grow some foliage.

I realized something when I first started looking into moving to Phoenix. If you look at the satellite images of the Phoenix-area on Google Maps, everything looks pretty green when you are zoomed out far enough. Hell, the Salt River even looks like it's flowing. It's not until you zoom in about two thirds of the way, and it switches over to the high-res shots, that you start to appreciate how barren and brown the landscape is around here. Obviously, the two shots were taken during different parts of the year, and when I got here, things looked a lot more like the zoomed-in shots. Now, after living in Phoenix for almost a year, the valley is starting to resemble those zoomed-out images... Hmm... there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

I'll end this post with a picture from a hike this past weekend. It struck me as rather absurd that the grass that has sprouted all around makes the short, red cactuses look out of place, when in fact it is the other way around. Enjoy.

"...point it at whatever you want to die."

Okay, are we going to talk gun control this time? Or are we going to wait until it happens all over again next year?

While the government tramples all over the Constitution, do you think they could scuff the 2nd Amendment up a bit?

No, I would not feel safer if everyone was carrying a gun.

No, I do not believe all these people would be getting guns anyway, even if they were illegal.

No, I do not believe the killers are monsters that could not be stopped.

No, I do not think guns are the same as cars, knives, rope, etc, or whatever else you can compare them to.

In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut, from Deadeye Dick:

"...killed by a machine which should never have come into the hands of any human being. It is called a firearm. It makes the blackest of all human wishes come true at once, at a distance: that something die. There is evil for you. We cannot get rid of mankind's fleetingly evil wishes. We can get rid of the machines that make them come true. I give you a holy word: DISARM. "

Dang Whippersnappers!!!

I cannot explain to you how frustrating it is to have someone come and smash the largest, most expensive, window of your house. Especially when it is 1300 miles away and you are trying to rent it out!

I Cannot Stress This Enough...

As a democrat living in one of 22 Super Tuesday states, I was faced today (actually, more like 3 weeks ago since I vote by mail) with a choice between two very different candidates. Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton. Who will you choose?

Do not vote for Hillary Clinton today.

The arguements for Barack Obama are many, and they have been touted on newspapers, blogs and other media incessantly for weeks, so I won't rehash them. Obama is running a positive campaign, and unfortunately this means we do not get to review the negative aspects of a Hillary Clinton candidacy enough. Let me give you a few points on which to mull.

1. She voted to authorize the use of force in Iraq.

I'm sorry, but this should be a deal breaker for any serious progressive Democrat. After 5+ years, haven't we had enough of this mess? Regarless of whether we are accomplishing anything in that country, the waste of money, goodwill, reputation, and above all life, should make one pause to think. Honestly, consider whether we want someone running for our half of the country that helped put us in the current international morass. Vote for McCain if that's what you want. Enough war...

2. We want a president, not a politician.

Yes, I'll be the first to admit that the Clinton machine is a magnificent political machine. It is backed almost entirely by large special interests that have a lot riding on this election. When the tide started to turn to the Democrats favor back in 2006, lobbyists began jumping ship from the Republican camp, with hopes of garnering favor with the future Democratic president. At the time the most "electable" candidate was Hillary Clinton, and they have been showering her with money since.

With Obama's campaign rising to prominence only recently, his backing is primarily from the bottom up, and he is less beholden to these corporate lobbyists. Sure, he has some big name backers as well, but I can guarantee you many of them are behind him purely with the intent of upsetting Hillary, and he owes them no favors. Speaking of favors, how many do you think were left un-repayed from Bill's time in office? I'll bet it's a few.

3. Let's surprise the rest of the world.

Yes, yes, America's first female president would be amazing. However, it is much less impressive when this woman has the same last name as a president from 8 years before? Do we really want to go Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton? Who's next, Jeb? The world expects us to elect Hillary. They believe we are predictable and averse to chage. Let's be honest... electing Hillary would not be change. It's a vote for politics as usual. The only thing that changes is the party identification of the person in the White House. That means nothing if that person is just like every other career politician out there.

Also, it's going to blow everyone in the Middle East's, and the rest of the world for that matter, mind if we elect Obama... I'll let another blogger state it more eloquently.

4. McCain would beat Clinton.

Okay, so pollsters have been wrong a lot this year, but I truly do believe this one... McCain has crossover appeal, Clinton does not. Something like 35% of the voting public wouldn't vote for Clinton unless she was running against Osama Bin Laden. I firmly believe Barack Obama can bring independants, and even some Republicans, over to his side.

I hardly believe my opinion matters to my few readers halfway through Super Tuesday, but this is how I feel. Flame on?

It's Superbowl Weekend

It's official, Phoenix is being invaded by revelers. Not only is the big game going down in Glendale, but Scottsdale is hosting the FBR Open golf tournament this weekend as well.

The most obvious sign of the celebrity invasion is of course the absence of Cristal on the liquor store shelves... I mean, come on, how can I enjoy a football game without a bottle of $350 champagne?

P. Diddy, you've screwed me for the last time!

I'll post a recap on Monday. I can promise you, if I run into Pete Wentz this weekend, I will kick him hard in the nuts...