Phoenix Observation # 6: Winter ain't so bad.

I have a feeling my some of my posts have been downers lately, so I'm going to switch gears for a second. It's been a while since my last one, so let's get to it:

Phoenix Observation # 6: Winter ain't so bad.

I could've written this post a while ago, since the weather has been nice here for a while, but I really feel I had to let my thoughts ripen. After a blazing hot summer, I was beginning to doubt the move. Fall was alright, but I really missed the color changes and the crunchiness of leaves under my feet. I don't think a bunch of landscapers sawing off old palm fronds counts as "shedding leaves"... But I thought that was about as good as it was going to get.

Turns out I was wrong. Autumn just rolls by a little late around here. Suddenly in January leaves turned brown and started falling off the trees in my neighborhood. Then I started hearing the familiar sound of 500 HP gas-powered leaf blowers coralling twigs and leaves into small piles. Doesn't anyone own a rake anymore?

Well, Fall turned to Winter real fast, and it got a little cold. Nothing close to what I was used to in Virginia, but it was brisk enough that biking back from the bars became a little less enjoyable (rockin' the alliteration). I started having to wear a jacket on my 2-block walk to work. I started ordering hot instead of cold drinks at Starbucks. Oh, and it started raining semi-regularly.

After two years in the Northwest, I'm used to rain. Getting soaked on the walk home for lunch because I didn't bring a jacket that day is okay. At least there's a dryer at home. Given this ambivalence towards rainy weather, I get to focus on the benefits of a little moisture in the Valley of the Sun: For once, everything starts to turn green. The jagged yellow, brown and red mountains that are spread throughout the city start to grow some foliage.

I realized something when I first started looking into moving to Phoenix. If you look at the satellite images of the Phoenix-area on Google Maps, everything looks pretty green when you are zoomed out far enough. Hell, the Salt River even looks like it's flowing. It's not until you zoom in about two thirds of the way, and it switches over to the high-res shots, that you start to appreciate how barren and brown the landscape is around here. Obviously, the two shots were taken during different parts of the year, and when I got here, things looked a lot more like the zoomed-in shots. Now, after living in Phoenix for almost a year, the valley is starting to resemble those zoomed-out images... Hmm... there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

I'll end this post with a picture from a hike this past weekend. It struck me as rather absurd that the grass that has sprouted all around makes the short, red cactuses look out of place, when in fact it is the other way around. Enjoy.

Phoenix Observation # 5: Christmas in the Desert

Moving to the desert seemed dreadful to me for many reasons, but I think there's a few that are just a little more dreadful this time of year.

I knew I was going to miss snow sports. I used to ski a lot when I lived in Canada, but never made it out often (read: 2 times) while I was in high school or college. So, when I moved to the NW, I made a pledge to myself to pick up snowboarding. And I did. I loved it. The wife and I could throw our equipment and drive up to the mountain in about an hour. I even skipped out of work early a couple times to go on weekdays, when the snow was right. Now that's all gone. C'est la vie.

Winter really just sneaks up on you here. It's hot-as-balls, hot-as-balls, hot-as-balls... then BAM! It's colder-than-shit. Where did that come from?!? We recieved a little warning when it rained for 3 days straight, then that's when the cold hit. It's freakishly odd. I also expected the days to be longer in the winter, being this far south, but for some reason they seem just as short as in the NW... I guess in the winter you're always going to, and coming home, from work in the dark. No matter what. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Alright, what about Christmas? I've never gotten used to the idea of not having a WHITE Christmas. Even in Virginia and Washington, there was a chance of a white Christmas. Not here though. Are you from NoVa? Remember the "blizzard" of '96? That was the first winter I spent in Virginia, and I didn't know what everyone was freaking out about. That was a usual winter for us in Ottawa. My brother and I made over $200 shoveling driveways that first day. Alas, gone for me are the days of the white Christmas. Que sera sera.

Really, all you get for "winter" and "Christmas" in Phoenix is a little rain and weather just cold enough for you to throw on a hoodie. Just wrap lights around your palm trees and cacti and put Santa and his reindeer on your roof... never mind that a sleigh is not an efficient mode of transport in the desert.

So it goes.

Phoenix Observation # 4: What time zone are we in?

Yep, this week is a twofer... I missed an observation a couple weeks, so I'm going to make it up.

In what time zone is Phoenix?

A map of the United States puts Arizona in the Mountain Time Zone, but don't let that fool you. Apparently Arizona does not observe Daylight Saving Time, and that's really messing with me.

First of all, that means that at the moment our clocks are set to the same time as anyone in the Pacific Time Zone. Great, that means that we didn't have to change our watches when we moved down here, and we won't have to for the rest of the time that we are. That's where the fun ends though, because this has complicated my life in other ways:

-When are my shows on? Okay, so I understand that we are technically on MST, but how does that affect television schedules? We don't have cable, and as a consequence we don't have a DVR anymore. We get all the major channels through HD broadcasting (including JCTV!) which is great, but it means we have to watch shows when they are actually on (gasp!).

So, if a show is supposed to be on at 8 pm PST and 7 pm MST, what time is it on in Phoenix? My guess would be either 6 pm (if the channel is from a MST station) or 8 pm (if the channel is from a PST station). Both answers are wrong - The show will be on at 7 pm Phoenix time. This has messed with me already.

I almost missed Heroes on Monday... and I DID miss The Office yesterday. Primetime doesn't start until 8 anyway, assholes!

-Last year I bought an analog atomic clock at Target. You can ask my wife how excited I was about the thing. Mount it on the wall facing Fort Collins, CO and the thing sets itself. Just watch the hands spin around to the precise time. I love it! Unfortunately for me, the one thing I was most thrilled about, watching the the clock adjust for DST automatically, has been foiled every year since I bought it.

Remember the Comprehensive Energy Bill of 2007? One of the useless things this bloated gift to the oil companies did accomplish was to change the official beginning and end of DST, beginning this year. Apparently they didn't notify Fort Collins in time, so my clock didn't adjust 2 weeks earlier this year, like it was supposed to.

My solution was to adjust the time zone manually on the back of the clock, to trick it into thinking we lived in the Mountain Time Zone. This worked great for the two extra weeks, but when the atomic clock adjusted for real, it messed me up. Luckily it was a weekend, but I did sleep through my chance to buy fresh fruit at the farmer's market that weekend. Oh yeah, and I guess I missed Church as well. Sorry Jesus!

Now that we are here in AZ, I'll have to manually adjust the time zone again to deal with the lack of DST. Government laws are messing my chance to enjoy my geeky gadgets. Damn the man!

Apparently, Arizona gets enough sun to not merit Daylight Saving Time. While the concept of DST is rather silly anyway, shouldn't the whole country have to follow the same system? At least in the interest of preventing confusion?

Just sayin'.

Phoenix Observation # 3: Don't Drink the Water

Seriously, don't drink the stuff. It tastes like shit.

Phoenix likes to move water around by canal, instead of pipes, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I'm gonna guess it has to do with continually recycling what little water there is here as well. Either way, in the end it comes out my tap tasting like poo.

When I wash my dishes in the sink or dishwasher, they get a nasty white film on them, like even the rinse water is dirty. Glasses need to be polished before serving something in them, lest I be considered low class.

I'm anti bottled water, because it's a huge waste. Just as Robert Redford, or the Governator. Most people here have some sort of filter built on to their pipes to deal with the mess. I live in an apartment at the moment though, so I don't plan to mess with the pipes. For now the Brita pitcher will have to do. Don't try the filter that fits on the tap too, 'cuz the water comes out wayyy to slow for anyone to tolerate.

Just steer clear of the tap water. It tastes like chode and comes out warm no matter what temperature you have it set at.

Phoenix Observation # 2: Not a walking city.

Forgive my absence. I spent last week in Banff, Alberta on business. More on that later when I get a chance to develop the pictures I took (yes, I had to buy a disposible since I forgot my digital). For now let me bring to you... Phoenix Observation #2.

Phoenix is not a walking city.

At the moment Phoenix is the fastest growing city in the U.S. Just last year, it overtook Philadelphia for the position of 5th largest city in the country. Nowadays we hear a lot about the city in the news, and almost everyone knows someone (ahem... me) who lives either in Phoenix, Tempe or Scottsdale. It's hard then to imagine the Phoenix of 40 years ago, when it had just began to grow, thanks to the construction of so many dams in the area. Phoenix has grown up around the idea of the car, and the booming growth of the past 10 years or so had only served to cement that into the local culture.

As someone who doesn't own a car and prefers to walk most places, this annoys me. Not only are 5-lane roads ugly, but they are dangerous and don't help the situation. Neighborhood are divided this way, and commerce is consolidated to strip malls and big-box retailers.

Luckily, my wife and I were able to find an apartment only blocks from my work, as well as within walking distance of a Trader Joe's, restaurants and bars. Other essentials are also close by: barber shops, blockbuster and even a pitifully small farmer's market. Unfortunately, these kinds of situations are few and far between.

I'll have to give it to Phoenix though, they are trying to change things. A new light rail line, the city's first, is set to be completed in December 2008, and a commuter rail line, to run on existing tracks is apparently in the works. Carsharing ( i.e. Flexcar), something I'm particularly interested in, has just been implemented at ASU in Tempe and hopefully will expand around the valley.

For now, I'll have to make due with the current situation. If the light rail picks up and people start reacting to the current state of affairs, maybe I can bring myself to start liking this place.

Note: The weather here has cooled down considerably since I wrote that first post (only one week ago). All of a sudden we've been able to turn off the A/C and start sleeping with the sliding door in our bedroom wide open. I believe this city is trying to charm me.

Phoenix Observation # 1: It's Hot.

Let me get the obvious observation out of the way: The heat in Phoenix is friggin' ridiculous! Let me suggest some fun things you can do in the heat:

1. Have a credit card melt sitting in the cupholder of the car.

2. Burn yourself touching the damn metal piece of the seat belt.

3. Realize you are sweating once you step indoors, because the heat was evaporating all your sweat outdoors.

4. See someone's second degree burns from leaning on something black that had been sitting in the sun.

I've managed to avoid serious sunburn so far, using a combination of sunscreen and staying the fuck inside. It'll happen eventually, I'm sure, but I plan on putting that off as long as possible.

Something good about the weather here is waking up in the morning. I roll out of bed, look out the windows, and I already know what I'm going to see. It's sunny and hot; palm trees and cacti are all around. I'm sure that'll get monotonous after a while, like rain in the Northwest, but for the moment it feels like vacation every day.

I can live with that.