It just ocurred to me that this weekend is in fact Halloween weekend. I'm sure many of you will be going to costume parties. I know I will, once I get my outfit together. Unfortunately, the days are gone when I could just pull a ski mask over my head and call myself a terrorist. That's just not PC nowadays. I'm sure whatever I pick will be infinately better than Neil's costume.
Either way, when you are at a halloween party there is a good chance you will be subjected to the classic party tune "Monster Mash". Everyone knows this song, and almost everyone over the age of 8 is sick of it. Did you know however, that there is a whole history of Monster Party songs?
Let Dr. Retarded get you up to speed.
On another note: By now, I'm sure everyone know's that Dumbledore is gay. Does this seem relevant to anyone? I mean, for someone who doesn't really have much of a sexual presence in the book (thank God!), wouldn't his orientation be a moot point?
Now, Hagrid is a different story... He'd be quite the bear.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Things never happen just how you expect them to...
How did/do you expect to meet the love of your life? As a guy, I didn't waste a lot of time on this. You know, "que sera, sera". But, I do know for a fact that women spend a lot of time thinking about this.
If you'll believe Hollywood, it could happen anywhere... Maybe at your parent's Greek restaurant. How about on a nationally syndicated radio show? Even a down-on-her-luck whore can get hired by a compassionate businessman. Maybe a 19th century duke just time travelled to the present to fall in love with you. You never know, right?
I've come to realize recently though, through a completely un-scientific survey of my engaged or married friends, that there is one single tie that binds... Alcohol. Every single couple, except for one, has met at a party or a bar, while under the influence. The one excepted couple met when they both worked at the same bar... Overachievers.
Maybe we all drink too much... but the fact that good old fashioned social lubricant is responsible for so many happy, usually sober, long-term relationships has to stand for something.
If you are part of one of these happy couples, I suggest you take some time to remember it this weekend... While you are out drinking, of course. Try to remember what exactly you were drinking at the time you both met, and order a couple up for you and your significant other.
To those who just got married, and those who just got engaged: Welcome to the club!
Take that, eHarmony!
If you'll believe Hollywood, it could happen anywhere... Maybe at your parent's Greek restaurant. How about on a nationally syndicated radio show? Even a down-on-her-luck whore can get hired by a compassionate businessman. Maybe a 19th century duke just time travelled to the present to fall in love with you. You never know, right?
I've come to realize recently though, through a completely un-scientific survey of my engaged or married friends, that there is one single tie that binds... Alcohol. Every single couple, except for one, has met at a party or a bar, while under the influence. The one excepted couple met when they both worked at the same bar... Overachievers.
Maybe we all drink too much... but the fact that good old fashioned social lubricant is responsible for so many happy, usually sober, long-term relationships has to stand for something.
If you are part of one of these happy couples, I suggest you take some time to remember it this weekend... While you are out drinking, of course. Try to remember what exactly you were drinking at the time you both met, and order a couple up for you and your significant other.
To those who just got married, and those who just got engaged: Welcome to the club!
Take that, eHarmony!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Recap: Unexplained Absence
Been missin' a while, sorry. Since we last spoke, I've been to a friend's wedding in South Carolina (highlight: plantation houses, southern food, "grrrr!", etc.), watched the Diamondbacks lose their Mojo (highlight: my wife actually being interested in a sport) and spent a little too much time working downtown in the middle of the night (highlight: riding shotgun in a speeding truck with a uniformed member of Phoenix's finest, while watching Harold & Kumar on the onboard video and debating the merits of White Castle v. Krystal Burger).
Well, I'm back and ready to get back to informing people.
Life in Phoenix has done nothing but improve since my last post. The weather has cooled down significantly, we've made some friends, and I haven't missed a single Heroes episode since I first complained about the time zone. It does seem to be getting a bit windy though, and I wonder if that portends an impending dust storm. I hope so. I think that would be kind of cool.
My sweet Kochanie ("Ko-han-yea") and I have begun training for the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll half-marathon here in Phoenix. This will be quite the daunting task, since my current running fitness puts me at a max of about 3.5 miles. That's pretty far from 13.1 miles I need to be able to run by then, but we plan to warm up by running the Run for Innocence 5k in November and the Trot for Tots 10k in December. Anyone whos' interested in running any of these events with us is welcome to come on out here, we can put a few people up at our place. I know we already have a few takers for the half-marathon.
Anyway, I have to get to work. Stay tuned this week for some new Phoenix observations, as well as a link to my new Flickr site.
Well, I'm back and ready to get back to informing people.
Life in Phoenix has done nothing but improve since my last post. The weather has cooled down significantly, we've made some friends, and I haven't missed a single Heroes episode since I first complained about the time zone. It does seem to be getting a bit windy though, and I wonder if that portends an impending dust storm. I hope so. I think that would be kind of cool.
My sweet Kochanie ("Ko-han-yea") and I have begun training for the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll half-marathon here in Phoenix. This will be quite the daunting task, since my current running fitness puts me at a max of about 3.5 miles. That's pretty far from 13.1 miles I need to be able to run by then, but we plan to warm up by running the Run for Innocence 5k in November and the Trot for Tots 10k in December. Anyone whos' interested in running any of these events with us is welcome to come on out here, we can put a few people up at our place. I know we already have a few takers for the half-marathon.
Anyway, I have to get to work. Stay tuned this week for some new Phoenix observations, as well as a link to my new Flickr site.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Keep Your Opinons At Home
Take a look at this story.
I was stuck in a car with a co-worker of mine yesterday when he decided to bring it up. I was told that flying the Mexican flag over the American flag was not only illegal (true), but an act of war (untrue). Never mind that a mexican diner doesn't have an army and isn't considered an embassy of the Mexican government. I just kept my responses to a neutral minimum.
Seriously, what do you do in a situation like that? Why is it that every time I have to share a car ride with a co-worker, it's all of a sudden time for them to pipe up on their opinions? Other than the Mexican flag story, I've had to listen to opinions on the Clintons, gay marriage and the Iraq war as well. I always stay quiet in these situations. If I cared to hear someone's opinion on political issues, maybe I'd go out with them for some drinks after work. Otherwise, I'm not interested in discussing these things with them or trying to change their close-minded opinions. It would just breed hostility in the office.
Immigration is an issue that really bothers me though, because everyone seems to have an opinion on it, and it's usually based on some shallow stereotype. I don't know how many times I've had to hear that 'why do I have to press 1 for english?' remark. Until you stop buying your Faded Glory jeans from Walmart for Indonesian sweatshop prices, I don't want to hear your opinion on globalization or immigration.
If your job is at risk of being taken by an foreigner that does your job for cheaper than you do (whether in America or not), maybe you ought to look into a new line of work.
I was stuck in a car with a co-worker of mine yesterday when he decided to bring it up. I was told that flying the Mexican flag over the American flag was not only illegal (true), but an act of war (untrue). Never mind that a mexican diner doesn't have an army and isn't considered an embassy of the Mexican government. I just kept my responses to a neutral minimum.
Seriously, what do you do in a situation like that? Why is it that every time I have to share a car ride with a co-worker, it's all of a sudden time for them to pipe up on their opinions? Other than the Mexican flag story, I've had to listen to opinions on the Clintons, gay marriage and the Iraq war as well. I always stay quiet in these situations. If I cared to hear someone's opinion on political issues, maybe I'd go out with them for some drinks after work. Otherwise, I'm not interested in discussing these things with them or trying to change their close-minded opinions. It would just breed hostility in the office.
Immigration is an issue that really bothers me though, because everyone seems to have an opinion on it, and it's usually based on some shallow stereotype. I don't know how many times I've had to hear that 'why do I have to press 1 for english?' remark. Until you stop buying your Faded Glory jeans from Walmart for Indonesian sweatshop prices, I don't want to hear your opinion on globalization or immigration.
If your job is at risk of being taken by an foreigner that does your job for cheaper than you do (whether in America or not), maybe you ought to look into a new line of work.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Phoenix Observation # 4: What time zone are we in?
Yep, this week is a twofer... I missed an observation a couple weeks, so I'm going to make it up.
In what time zone is Phoenix?
A map of the United States puts Arizona in the Mountain Time Zone, but don't let that fool you. Apparently Arizona does not observe Daylight Saving Time, and that's really messing with me.
First of all, that means that at the moment our clocks are set to the same time as anyone in the Pacific Time Zone. Great, that means that we didn't have to change our watches when we moved down here, and we won't have to for the rest of the time that we are. That's where the fun ends though, because this has complicated my life in other ways:
-When are my shows on? Okay, so I understand that we are technically on MST, but how does that affect television schedules? We don't have cable, and as a consequence we don't have a DVR anymore. We get all the major channels through HD broadcasting (including JCTV!) which is great, but it means we have to watch shows when they are actually on (gasp!).
So, if a show is supposed to be on at 8 pm PST and 7 pm MST, what time is it on in Phoenix? My guess would be either 6 pm (if the channel is from a MST station) or 8 pm (if the channel is from a PST station). Both answers are wrong - The show will be on at 7 pm Phoenix time. This has messed with me already.
I almost missed Heroes on Monday... and I DID miss The Office yesterday. Primetime doesn't start until 8 anyway, assholes!
-Last year I bought an analog atomic clock at Target. You can ask my wife how excited I was about the thing. Mount it on the wall facing Fort Collins, CO and the thing sets itself. Just watch the hands spin around to the precise time. I love it! Unfortunately for me, the one thing I was most thrilled about, watching the the clock adjust for DST automatically, has been foiled every year since I bought it.
Remember the Comprehensive Energy Bill of 2007? One of the useless things this bloated gift to the oil companies did accomplish was to change the official beginning and end of DST, beginning this year. Apparently they didn't notify Fort Collins in time, so my clock didn't adjust 2 weeks earlier this year, like it was supposed to.
My solution was to adjust the time zone manually on the back of the clock, to trick it into thinking we lived in the Mountain Time Zone. This worked great for the two extra weeks, but when the atomic clock adjusted for real, it messed me up. Luckily it was a weekend, but I did sleep through my chance to buy fresh fruit at the farmer's market that weekend. Oh yeah, and I guess I missed Church as well. Sorry Jesus!
Now that we are here in AZ, I'll have to manually adjust the time zone again to deal with the lack of DST. Government laws are messing my chance to enjoy my geeky gadgets. Damn the man!
Apparently, Arizona gets enough sun to not merit Daylight Saving Time. While the concept of DST is rather silly anyway, shouldn't the whole country have to follow the same system? At least in the interest of preventing confusion?
Just sayin'.
In what time zone is Phoenix?
A map of the United States puts Arizona in the Mountain Time Zone, but don't let that fool you. Apparently Arizona does not observe Daylight Saving Time, and that's really messing with me.
First of all, that means that at the moment our clocks are set to the same time as anyone in the Pacific Time Zone. Great, that means that we didn't have to change our watches when we moved down here, and we won't have to for the rest of the time that we are. That's where the fun ends though, because this has complicated my life in other ways:
-When are my shows on? Okay, so I understand that we are technically on MST, but how does that affect television schedules? We don't have cable, and as a consequence we don't have a DVR anymore. We get all the major channels through HD broadcasting (including JCTV!) which is great, but it means we have to watch shows when they are actually on (gasp!).
So, if a show is supposed to be on at 8 pm PST and 7 pm MST, what time is it on in Phoenix? My guess would be either 6 pm (if the channel is from a MST station) or 8 pm (if the channel is from a PST station). Both answers are wrong - The show will be on at 7 pm Phoenix time. This has messed with me already.
I almost missed Heroes on Monday... and I DID miss The Office yesterday. Primetime doesn't start until 8 anyway, assholes!
-Last year I bought an analog atomic clock at Target. You can ask my wife how excited I was about the thing. Mount it on the wall facing Fort Collins, CO and the thing sets itself. Just watch the hands spin around to the precise time. I love it! Unfortunately for me, the one thing I was most thrilled about, watching the the clock adjust for DST automatically, has been foiled every year since I bought it.
Remember the Comprehensive Energy Bill of 2007? One of the useless things this bloated gift to the oil companies did accomplish was to change the official beginning and end of DST, beginning this year. Apparently they didn't notify Fort Collins in time, so my clock didn't adjust 2 weeks earlier this year, like it was supposed to.
My solution was to adjust the time zone manually on the back of the clock, to trick it into thinking we lived in the Mountain Time Zone. This worked great for the two extra weeks, but when the atomic clock adjusted for real, it messed me up. Luckily it was a weekend, but I did sleep through my chance to buy fresh fruit at the farmer's market that weekend. Oh yeah, and I guess I missed Church as well. Sorry Jesus!
Now that we are here in AZ, I'll have to manually adjust the time zone again to deal with the lack of DST. Government laws are messing my chance to enjoy my geeky gadgets. Damn the man!
Apparently, Arizona gets enough sun to not merit Daylight Saving Time. While the concept of DST is rather silly anyway, shouldn't the whole country have to follow the same system? At least in the interest of preventing confusion?
Just sayin'.
Phoenix Observation # 3: Don't Drink the Water
Seriously, don't drink the stuff. It tastes like shit.
Phoenix likes to move water around by canal, instead of pipes, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I'm gonna guess it has to do with continually recycling what little water there is here as well. Either way, in the end it comes out my tap tasting like poo.
When I wash my dishes in the sink or dishwasher, they get a nasty white film on them, like even the rinse water is dirty. Glasses need to be polished before serving something in them, lest I be considered low class.
I'm anti bottled water, because it's a huge waste. Just as Robert Redford, or the Governator. Most people here have some sort of filter built on to their pipes to deal with the mess. I live in an apartment at the moment though, so I don't plan to mess with the pipes. For now the Brita pitcher will have to do. Don't try the filter that fits on the tap too, 'cuz the water comes out wayyy to slow for anyone to tolerate.
Just steer clear of the tap water. It tastes like chode and comes out warm no matter what temperature you have it set at.
Phoenix likes to move water around by canal, instead of pipes, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I'm gonna guess it has to do with continually recycling what little water there is here as well. Either way, in the end it comes out my tap tasting like poo.
When I wash my dishes in the sink or dishwasher, they get a nasty white film on them, like even the rinse water is dirty. Glasses need to be polished before serving something in them, lest I be considered low class.
I'm anti bottled water, because it's a huge waste. Just as Robert Redford, or the Governator. Most people here have some sort of filter built on to their pipes to deal with the mess. I live in an apartment at the moment though, so I don't plan to mess with the pipes. For now the Brita pitcher will have to do. Don't try the filter that fits on the tap too, 'cuz the water comes out wayyy to slow for anyone to tolerate.
Just steer clear of the tap water. It tastes like chode and comes out warm no matter what temperature you have it set at.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
