Phoenix Observation # 5: Christmas in the Desert

Moving to the desert seemed dreadful to me for many reasons, but I think there's a few that are just a little more dreadful this time of year.

I knew I was going to miss snow sports. I used to ski a lot when I lived in Canada, but never made it out often (read: 2 times) while I was in high school or college. So, when I moved to the NW, I made a pledge to myself to pick up snowboarding. And I did. I loved it. The wife and I could throw our equipment and drive up to the mountain in about an hour. I even skipped out of work early a couple times to go on weekdays, when the snow was right. Now that's all gone. C'est la vie.

Winter really just sneaks up on you here. It's hot-as-balls, hot-as-balls, hot-as-balls... then BAM! It's colder-than-shit. Where did that come from?!? We recieved a little warning when it rained for 3 days straight, then that's when the cold hit. It's freakishly odd. I also expected the days to be longer in the winter, being this far south, but for some reason they seem just as short as in the NW... I guess in the winter you're always going to, and coming home, from work in the dark. No matter what. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Alright, what about Christmas? I've never gotten used to the idea of not having a WHITE Christmas. Even in Virginia and Washington, there was a chance of a white Christmas. Not here though. Are you from NoVa? Remember the "blizzard" of '96? That was the first winter I spent in Virginia, and I didn't know what everyone was freaking out about. That was a usual winter for us in Ottawa. My brother and I made over $200 shoveling driveways that first day. Alas, gone for me are the days of the white Christmas. Que sera sera.

Really, all you get for "winter" and "Christmas" in Phoenix is a little rain and weather just cold enough for you to throw on a hoodie. Just wrap lights around your palm trees and cacti and put Santa and his reindeer on your roof... never mind that a sleigh is not an efficient mode of transport in the desert.

So it goes.

Much accomplished

I started this (second) blog with the idea of actually keeping up with it, and I haven't really done that very well so far. I promise I have good reasons for my absence, along with a few bad ones:

- I took the final exam for my very first graduate school class at ASU, and apparently did great! Final grades were posted late last week, and I somehow managed to get an "A". This is good news, because I have to persuade my employer to pay me back for each class as I pass them and this ensures 100% reimbursement.

- Made a trip up to Pinetop, AZ a few weekends ago. It rained the whole ride up there, and when we arrived it was dark. We woke up the next morning to about an inch of snow, which in Arizona is significant We did some hiking while we were up there, as well as just relaxed. It was a good trip, given the stress of family Thanksgiving.

- I've been charged with redesigning the website of the Phoenix chapter of Engineers without borders. The current website is a bit... inadequate. Stay tuned for some changes. I'm also taking on some responsibility for some fundraising projects that should be pretty time consuming as well.

- Ewa and I bought bikes a while back, and we recently found a nice, chill bar a few blocks away. We've been incrementally testing our ability to bike after enjoying a few pints. Don't worry, we've equipped the cruisers (actual "cruisers", check out Ewa's ride) with lights for nighttime riding.

- I've been playing around with Shelfari, thanks Ike.

- Been runnin'. I ran 7.5 miles this past Sunday.

- Finally, I've set up a Flickr account. Check out pictures from the trip to Pinetop, if you'd like. More pictures once I upgrade to a pro account... Merry Christmas maybe?

-Watched: Futurama: Bender's Big Score - Too much Futurama in too little time. Hot Rod: Mind-numbingly retarded. Superbad - Mind-numbingly hilarious. Beowulf - 3D CGI = Sweet-Jeebus!

So, as you can see, I've been very busy. I didn't even mention holiday parties and christmas shopping! We all get busy this time of year, so I hope you all can cut me a little slack.

Happy Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa, etc.

Ah, to be back in NoVa.

Coming back to visit brings nostalgic feelings, as one would expect. While Vienna and the surrounding area are constantly changing (What's with all the gigantic houses on Park Street?), it's still the same old, same old as well. Amphora, Vienna Inn, Anita's... they're all still there. I'm also still glad I left.

One thing that was totally new to me this time around was the family situation. Suddenly "staying at my girlfriend's parents' place" turned into "visiting the in-laws". The logistics of the visit hasn't changed, per se, but the familial connection is now different. I'm still getting used to the idea.

All in all it was a nice visit. I didn't accomplish everything on my list, but I got to run the Turkey Trot 5k and eat some chili dogs, so I'll consider it a success. I also got to arrange a rare meeting with my friend the blanktop chronicler, who I thought was either dead or sober. Both thoughts are horrifying.

Oh yeah, did I mention UVA sucks? Go Hokies!

Attention Northern Virginians

I will be in town for 4 days, and 4 days only. These are the things I'm looking forward to doing:

-Going to at least one party. Bonus if that party has flipcup, quarters or beer pong.
-Playing some cash poker.
-Watching the VT/UVA game with some Hokies.
-Eating some chili dogs at the Vienna Inn.
-Running the Turkey Trot 5k.
-NOT going to TGI Friday's in the toilet bowl building.

If you think you can help me out with any of these things, give me a ring or e-mail here.

See you soon!

"Home is where the heart is."

If the above statement is true... then I am currently a transient.

Since graduating from college, I've changed my physical address five different times. I haven't lived anywhere longer than a year since my junior year of college, and if you count college dorms and apartments, then I have lived EIGHTEEN different places during my 26 year long life. Granted, eight of those residences can be attributed to college and summer transitions, but the fact still remains that that is a hell of a lot of places!

Now that the holiday season is upon us, I am once again forced to confront the fact that I don't have a place to call home. In the past six years since my mother passed away, I have spent Christmas Day in five different places. Maine, Scotland, Ottawa, Falls Church, and Warsaw. I haven't decorated a tree or strung up lights in forever.

My father has moved away from Northern Virginia, and I now have even less of a bind to the last real place I could call home. Ewa's family is there, my high school and college friends often end up there on holidays, but I can't use the term "going home" anymore.

Now that I'm married and "settling down", I'd really like to establish where my "heart" is... and maybe Phoenix is that place. I'd be lying if I said that doesn't weird me out. We're here at least until I finish getting my MS and Ewa establishes her teaching career, so we might as well start growing some roots.

That being said, where will we be on December 25th, 2007?

Purto Vallarta, Mexico.

Maybe next year then.

I just kept on runnin'...

Yep, that's us up front!

Well, this past weekend marked my first attempt at an organized running event.

Sunday morning, Ewa and I headed out to Tempe for the New Times 10k event. Although not ready to run the 10k run, we were registered for the 5k event. It was a tough run, but I think we put up a good showing. Ewa managed 18th out of 36 women in her age bracket (20-24), making her exactly average. I pulled off a 14th out of 31 men in my age bracket (25-29), making me just slightly better than mediocre. Hooray for us.

We're both really satisfied with our results. I don't think an average of an 8 minute mile is too bad for a first time runner. We've been running about 3-4 times a week now, adding a half a mile each week. Right now we're at 3 mile runs. Unfortunately, this isn't going to prepare us in time for the 13.1 mile half-marathon so we've got to bump it up a notch.

So, from here on out we will continue running 3 times a week with adding the 0.5 miles each week. However, we'll also begin running an "endurance run" every Sunday adding a mile each time. This means 4 miles this weekend, 5 miles the next, etc. This should bring us up to speed by mid January, as long as we don't kill ourselves in the meantime.

Wish us luck!

"The mummy is drunk, and he likes to $%^&!"

It just ocurred to me that this weekend is in fact Halloween weekend. I'm sure many of you will be going to costume parties. I know I will, once I get my outfit together. Unfortunately, the days are gone when I could just pull a ski mask over my head and call myself a terrorist. That's just not PC nowadays. I'm sure whatever I pick will be infinately better than Neil's costume.

Either way, when you are at a halloween party there is a good chance you will be subjected to the classic party tune "Monster Mash". Everyone knows this song, and almost everyone over the age of 8 is sick of it. Did you know however, that there is a whole history of Monster Party songs?

Let Dr. Retarded get you up to speed.

On another note: By now, I'm sure everyone know's that Dumbledore is gay. Does this seem relevant to anyone? I mean, for someone who doesn't really have much of a sexual presence in the book (thank God!), wouldn't his orientation be a moot point?

Now, Hagrid is a different story... He'd be quite the bear.

Things never happen just how you expect them to...

How did/do you expect to meet the love of your life? As a guy, I didn't waste a lot of time on this. You know, "que sera, sera". But, I do know for a fact that women spend a lot of time thinking about this.

If you'll believe Hollywood, it could happen anywhere... Maybe at your parent's Greek restaurant. How about on a nationally syndicated radio show? Even a down-on-her-luck whore can get hired by a compassionate businessman. Maybe a 19th century duke just time travelled to the present to fall in love with you. You never know, right?

I've come to realize recently though, through a completely un-scientific survey of my engaged or married friends, that there is one single tie that binds... Alcohol. Every single couple, except for one, has met at a party or a bar, while under the influence. The one excepted couple met when they both worked at the same bar... Overachievers.

Maybe we all drink too much... but the fact that good old fashioned social lubricant is responsible for so many happy, usually sober, long-term relationships has to stand for something.

If you are part of one of these happy couples, I suggest you take some time to remember it this weekend... While you are out drinking, of course. Try to remember what exactly you were drinking at the time you both met, and order a couple up for you and your significant other.

To those who just got married, and those who just got engaged: Welcome to the club!

Take that, eHarmony!

Recap: Unexplained Absence

Been missin' a while, sorry. Since we last spoke, I've been to a friend's wedding in South Carolina (highlight: plantation houses, southern food, "grrrr!", etc.), watched the Diamondbacks lose their Mojo (highlight: my wife actually being interested in a sport) and spent a little too much time working downtown in the middle of the night (highlight: riding shotgun in a speeding truck with a uniformed member of Phoenix's finest, while watching Harold & Kumar on the onboard video and debating the merits of White Castle v. Krystal Burger).

Well, I'm back and ready to get back to informing people.

Life in Phoenix has done nothing but improve since my last post. The weather has cooled down significantly, we've made some friends, and I haven't missed a single Heroes episode since I first complained about the time zone. It does seem to be getting a bit windy though, and I wonder if that portends an impending dust storm. I hope so. I think that would be kind of cool.

My sweet Kochanie ("Ko-han-yea") and I have begun training for the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll half-marathon here in Phoenix. This will be quite the daunting task, since my current running fitness puts me at a max of about 3.5 miles. That's pretty far from 13.1 miles I need to be able to run by then, but we plan to warm up by running the Run for Innocence 5k in November and the Trot for Tots 10k in December. Anyone whos' interested in running any of these events with us is welcome to come on out here, we can put a few people up at our place. I know we already have a few takers for the half-marathon.

Anyway, I have to get to work. Stay tuned this week for some new Phoenix observations, as well as a link to my new Flickr site.

Keep Your Opinons At Home

Take a look at this story.

I was stuck in a car with a co-worker of mine yesterday when he decided to bring it up. I was told that flying the Mexican flag over the American flag was not only illegal (true), but an act of war (untrue). Never mind that a mexican diner doesn't have an army and isn't considered an embassy of the Mexican government. I just kept my responses to a neutral minimum.

Seriously, what do you do in a situation like that? Why is it that every time I have to share a car ride with a co-worker, it's all of a sudden time for them to pipe up on their opinions? Other than the Mexican flag story, I've had to listen to opinions on the Clintons, gay marriage and the Iraq war as well. I always stay quiet in these situations. If I cared to hear someone's opinion on political issues, maybe I'd go out with them for some drinks after work. Otherwise, I'm not interested in discussing these things with them or trying to change their close-minded opinions. It would just breed hostility in the office.

Immigration is an issue that really bothers me though, because everyone seems to have an opinion on it, and it's usually based on some shallow stereotype. I don't know how many times I've had to hear that 'why do I have to press 1 for english?' remark. Until you stop buying your Faded Glory jeans from Walmart for Indonesian sweatshop prices, I don't want to hear your opinion on globalization or immigration.

If your job is at risk of being taken by an foreigner that does your job for cheaper than you do (whether in America or not), maybe you ought to look into a new line of work.

Phoenix Observation # 4: What time zone are we in?

Yep, this week is a twofer... I missed an observation a couple weeks, so I'm going to make it up.

In what time zone is Phoenix?

A map of the United States puts Arizona in the Mountain Time Zone, but don't let that fool you. Apparently Arizona does not observe Daylight Saving Time, and that's really messing with me.

First of all, that means that at the moment our clocks are set to the same time as anyone in the Pacific Time Zone. Great, that means that we didn't have to change our watches when we moved down here, and we won't have to for the rest of the time that we are. That's where the fun ends though, because this has complicated my life in other ways:

-When are my shows on? Okay, so I understand that we are technically on MST, but how does that affect television schedules? We don't have cable, and as a consequence we don't have a DVR anymore. We get all the major channels through HD broadcasting (including JCTV!) which is great, but it means we have to watch shows when they are actually on (gasp!).

So, if a show is supposed to be on at 8 pm PST and 7 pm MST, what time is it on in Phoenix? My guess would be either 6 pm (if the channel is from a MST station) or 8 pm (if the channel is from a PST station). Both answers are wrong - The show will be on at 7 pm Phoenix time. This has messed with me already.

I almost missed Heroes on Monday... and I DID miss The Office yesterday. Primetime doesn't start until 8 anyway, assholes!

-Last year I bought an analog atomic clock at Target. You can ask my wife how excited I was about the thing. Mount it on the wall facing Fort Collins, CO and the thing sets itself. Just watch the hands spin around to the precise time. I love it! Unfortunately for me, the one thing I was most thrilled about, watching the the clock adjust for DST automatically, has been foiled every year since I bought it.

Remember the Comprehensive Energy Bill of 2007? One of the useless things this bloated gift to the oil companies did accomplish was to change the official beginning and end of DST, beginning this year. Apparently they didn't notify Fort Collins in time, so my clock didn't adjust 2 weeks earlier this year, like it was supposed to.

My solution was to adjust the time zone manually on the back of the clock, to trick it into thinking we lived in the Mountain Time Zone. This worked great for the two extra weeks, but when the atomic clock adjusted for real, it messed me up. Luckily it was a weekend, but I did sleep through my chance to buy fresh fruit at the farmer's market that weekend. Oh yeah, and I guess I missed Church as well. Sorry Jesus!

Now that we are here in AZ, I'll have to manually adjust the time zone again to deal with the lack of DST. Government laws are messing my chance to enjoy my geeky gadgets. Damn the man!

Apparently, Arizona gets enough sun to not merit Daylight Saving Time. While the concept of DST is rather silly anyway, shouldn't the whole country have to follow the same system? At least in the interest of preventing confusion?

Just sayin'.

Phoenix Observation # 3: Don't Drink the Water

Seriously, don't drink the stuff. It tastes like shit.

Phoenix likes to move water around by canal, instead of pipes, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I'm gonna guess it has to do with continually recycling what little water there is here as well. Either way, in the end it comes out my tap tasting like poo.

When I wash my dishes in the sink or dishwasher, they get a nasty white film on them, like even the rinse water is dirty. Glasses need to be polished before serving something in them, lest I be considered low class.

I'm anti bottled water, because it's a huge waste. Just as Robert Redford, or the Governator. Most people here have some sort of filter built on to their pipes to deal with the mess. I live in an apartment at the moment though, so I don't plan to mess with the pipes. For now the Brita pitcher will have to do. Don't try the filter that fits on the tap too, 'cuz the water comes out wayyy to slow for anyone to tolerate.

Just steer clear of the tap water. It tastes like chode and comes out warm no matter what temperature you have it set at.

Like Confusing 411 with 911

I don't have many friends out there that can speak french, let alone enough to understand rap. If they could though, I'd be sending them all this video.

Apparently, the French number for directory assistance became 118 in 2005. A publicity campaign promoting the number in France crossed the national borders into Switzerland, where 118 is the emergency number for the Fire Department. This confusion caused the Swiss dispatchers to be flooded with phone calls for directory assistance. Finally, frustrated with the phone lines being tied up with ignorant callers, a group of Geneva firefighters got together to make the video.

If you know French, but can't understand these guys, get the lyrics here.

Note: Apparently if you have a problem with an animal weighing more than 10 kg in Switzerland, you should call the fire department.

Phoenix Observation # 2: Not a walking city.

Forgive my absence. I spent last week in Banff, Alberta on business. More on that later when I get a chance to develop the pictures I took (yes, I had to buy a disposible since I forgot my digital). For now let me bring to you... Phoenix Observation #2.

Phoenix is not a walking city.

At the moment Phoenix is the fastest growing city in the U.S. Just last year, it overtook Philadelphia for the position of 5th largest city in the country. Nowadays we hear a lot about the city in the news, and almost everyone knows someone (ahem... me) who lives either in Phoenix, Tempe or Scottsdale. It's hard then to imagine the Phoenix of 40 years ago, when it had just began to grow, thanks to the construction of so many dams in the area. Phoenix has grown up around the idea of the car, and the booming growth of the past 10 years or so had only served to cement that into the local culture.

As someone who doesn't own a car and prefers to walk most places, this annoys me. Not only are 5-lane roads ugly, but they are dangerous and don't help the situation. Neighborhood are divided this way, and commerce is consolidated to strip malls and big-box retailers.

Luckily, my wife and I were able to find an apartment only blocks from my work, as well as within walking distance of a Trader Joe's, restaurants and bars. Other essentials are also close by: barber shops, blockbuster and even a pitifully small farmer's market. Unfortunately, these kinds of situations are few and far between.

I'll have to give it to Phoenix though, they are trying to change things. A new light rail line, the city's first, is set to be completed in December 2008, and a commuter rail line, to run on existing tracks is apparently in the works. Carsharing ( i.e. Flexcar), something I'm particularly interested in, has just been implemented at ASU in Tempe and hopefully will expand around the valley.

For now, I'll have to make due with the current situation. If the light rail picks up and people start reacting to the current state of affairs, maybe I can bring myself to start liking this place.

Note: The weather here has cooled down considerably since I wrote that first post (only one week ago). All of a sudden we've been able to turn off the A/C and start sleeping with the sliding door in our bedroom wide open. I believe this city is trying to charm me.

Phoenix Observation # 1: It's Hot.

Let me get the obvious observation out of the way: The heat in Phoenix is friggin' ridiculous! Let me suggest some fun things you can do in the heat:

1. Have a credit card melt sitting in the cupholder of the car.

2. Burn yourself touching the damn metal piece of the seat belt.

3. Realize you are sweating once you step indoors, because the heat was evaporating all your sweat outdoors.

4. See someone's second degree burns from leaning on something black that had been sitting in the sun.

I've managed to avoid serious sunburn so far, using a combination of sunscreen and staying the fuck inside. It'll happen eventually, I'm sure, but I plan on putting that off as long as possible.

Something good about the weather here is waking up in the morning. I roll out of bed, look out the windows, and I already know what I'm going to see. It's sunny and hot; palm trees and cacti are all around. I'm sure that'll get monotonous after a while, like rain in the Northwest, but for the moment it feels like vacation every day.

I can live with that.

We're here!

So we made it. My polish princess and I have actually been in Phoenix for about a month now, and we are finally starting to get settled in. We've already had 2 out of town visitors already! Let me get you up to speed:

This is what a wedding in Poland looks like:

This is what a wedding in Vegas looks like:

Okay, consider your self updated.

Since I'm just a Phoenix n00b, I'm still forming my opinion of the city. Phoenix is an odd city and just like any, there are pro's and cons to living here.

Look forward to my ruminations on Phoenix-life.

Turning over a new palm frond...

If you had asked me 6 months ago where I planned to be by August of this year, I couldn't have answered you. By nature I am a restless person and this is a feeling I usually relish. Not this time, however.

At the time I was bitterly frustrated with my job (I would still be, had Friday not been my last day) and courting an opportunity to work in Frankfurt, Germany. Those of you who know me, you know that this would be a pretty exciting prospect for me. Alas, 'twas not to be so.

See, my impending marriage has left me rather confused of late. Not because I doubt my decision; I look forward to the day that I wed my beautiful Polish princess. Rather, the problem lay in the logistics of the situation. Switching jobs at the time was out of the question. A wedding overseas does requires a lot more vacation than any employer would have been willing to give me. The Frankfurt employer was willing to work with me on this, but my fiance does not speak German very well, and there were not many jobs for non-German speakers in her field (elementary education). Time came for us to consider other options...

Trolling the local job fairs, my fiance came across some school boards in Phoenix, most of them offering generous benefits. I was pretty hesitant from the get go. "It's hot in Phoenix, you know!" "Denver looks pretty nice, right?!?" Most of what I've heard of the city is bad, and almost everyone I spoke to about it was doubtful that I would like it. I had to give it a chance though... for her.

Well, a couple months, a short weekend trip and two job offers later, things are looking up. Soon we will be living off two incomes instead of one and half. I will be walking to work, and in August I will begin classes in pursuit of my MS. Oh yeah, and I discovered Phoenix ain't so bad after all.

Best of all, this job switch and move will afford me to be unemployed for the first time since college graduation, and for a month and a half to boot! Some of the fun we have planned:

-Up to Seattle to see my brother.
-Off to Warsaw to get married, of course!
-Krakow and Zakopane for a honeymoon of sorts.
-Dublin for some good ol' Irish fun.
-Vegas for our "official" wedding

The trip will conclude with our eventual arrival in Phoenix, where we will be able to enjoy our new life together, starting with a clean slate, both career- and lifestyle-wise. I couldn't be happier with the way things are going in my life right now.

Things are definately looking up.

P.S. Anyone want to buy a house in Vancouver, WA?